Join for FREE | Take the Tour Lost Password?
[x]

deviantART

 


A small river
Praying for the glass raindrops
Which will never come
©2006-2009 ~poisondarts
:iconpoisondarts:

Author's Comments

This was actually the end to another poem, but it works so much better as a separate haiku. It can be about a lot of things, use your imagination and take your pick :)

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:icondiamondie:
I like the piece otherwise, but IMO "praying" is a word that doesn't really fit in a haiku. Haikus may feel spiritual, but they're strictly secular, not religious (even if by "praying" you mean "asking" instead of "praying to god", but why not say "asking" then?). Also keep in mind that haikus are never symbolic, so if you write a poem about a river - it's a poem about a river.
:iconpoisondarts:
Thank you for your critique on my piece.

Just a couple of things however. In studies I've read, it says to let religion studied echo in the background of a piece. However, "praying" here is used more in a context of desparation rather than religion, something I don't believe "asking" reflects.

This is about a river, it's just everyone can interpret things in different ways. It's something i like about poetry, even if it breaks a few rules along the way :)

--
~poisondarts :heart: ~soulfreeze
:iconsoulfreeze:
do you get the glass raindrops you pray for?

--
I :heart: ~poisondarts.
:iconpoisondarts:
It's not me, it's the river!

--
~poisondarts :heart: ~soulfreeze

Details

November 23, 2006
165 bytes

Statistics

4
1 [who?]
83 (0 today)
6 (0 today)

Site Map